Highschool Lovers
by Paranoid Pikachu
Summary: Sasori is just a normal highschool student, but he always has two brats stalking him. What happens when he falls inlove with the blonde one?   SasoxDei..Written by me with the help of NaruSasuLove Leven
1. Chapter 1

**So this is a fan fiction about Deidara and Sasori, now in this fan fic Sasori's going to be human because its hard to write puppet sex..I mean seriously wood and flesh..How? Okay anyways it's going to be an interesting story. This story is written by Forever And Always Insane(me) and NaruSasuLove (Leven A.K.A. Moo-Moo) Please do enjoy R&R. This is Highschool Fic. Beware of its Awesomeness..(NaruSasuLove does not approve of Highschool fics but we'll make her)**

**Disclaimer- I do not own Naruto, I only own this fuckin' story. Jesus. (And yo ass^: :^)**

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><p><strong>Chapter One;<strong>

_Normal Days_

_Sasori's POV;_

I was sitting outside watching as the clouds pass by slowly, drawing an **eternal **painting...I heard somebody approaching from behind me, I took my notebook I was drawing in and sat on it making sure it was well hidden, before looking back at the clouds hoping the person would just walk by so I could get back to my drawing. But to my horror I heard.

"BUT SEMPAI I DONT WANT TOO!" I could only guess who that was and who was his sempai. Tobi and Deidara the most annoying brats in my classes. I stood up making sure I picked up my notebook and pencils, so I could get away before they could pester me with their annoying-ness.

"Danna where are you going" Damn, they caught me. I just didn't understand why the youngest brat calls me Master.

"Home, to get away from you two" I sent a glare their way before noticing they were coming closer, screeching like a falcon I ran back as fast as I could to my apartment building which was only across the road.

Once I got home I looked out the window only to see none other then Tobi immatating me, I felt like bitch slapping them..Before I noticed I was throwing shoes out the window at them. Luckily one of them hit the orange masked lollipop man in the face!

While he was on the ground screaming like a little school girl(Which I'm sure he was under his mask) He took the shoe and threw it right back at me, It hit me right in the forehead 'Dammit that little shit has good mother fucking aim' "FUCKING LOLLIPOP MAN LADY MAN, GET AWAY FROM MY HOUSE STOP STALKING ME YOU FUCKING WRINKLY ASS HOMO"

"Umm..Sasori were just walking by..Plus your in our gang..And I mean..Of course hes wrinkly hes like four hundred years old but me..Of course not!" he said as he pointed towards the man rolling on the ground murmuring something..

"SURE AS HELL 'JUST WALKING BY' YOU WATCH ME SHOWER FOR FUCKS' SAKE" I yelled not knowing what he'd throw back at me

"Oh you knew about that? Why didn't you stop me then!" he shouted back causing me to close my blinds and going to bed, anyways people were starting to stare..

**Around two in the morning..**

I decided once they left to open up my blinds, I was staring out the window to see my old roommate Orochimaru walking by carrying a buck naked unconcious raven haired boy, 'God he is such a pervert' I thought, But now I knew that I couldn't go to sleep anymore.. EVER.

**The next day(walking to school)**

I was breathing in the fresh morning air hoping that this would be a nice day even though I knew it wouldn't if those two baka's were at school. I sighed, I looked around for those two before entering the main building were they held most of the classes, since I was in Math first thing today I had to come here, I walked quietly down the hallway trying not to attract any attention or else those two assholes would certainly bug me..

I saw Sakura come up to me, I wanted to avoid here but god damn it shes like some type of virus that doesn't go away until you die. "Hey Sasori-koon!" She said in a sing-song voice 'What the fuck did she want?' I asked myself I tried my hardest not to punch her the face and fucking murder her, "I heard your scream fest yesterday!" She announced loudly through out the crowd you could hear people saying "He talks?" or "He screams?" I then felt my eye twitch, I faced her and punched her as hard as I could in the face..

"Shut the fuck up you stupid bitch face, that should die a painful and lonely death oh and by the way LEAVE SASUKE-KUN ALONE! HES GETTING RAPED BY A PEDOFILE SNAKE..AND YOU DON`T CARE!" I screamed in her face before pushing through the crowd to get into my class as I was going to enter I heard someone calling "Danna!" I felt very irrtated at the moment, so I moved over to the side and hid in his fan girls. They all stared at me before giggling and muttering something that started with a `yao and ended with a i` I did a face palm..`Jeez I should stop face palming I`m going to break my nose some day`

"Sasori. I can`t go in there i`ll get killed come back out please?"

`NO THE POINT IS SO YOU CAN`T GET ME`` I yelled to him. Just then The bell went and everyone went to class leaving me half a second to run to class and sit in the corner beside the window. Sooooooo soooo far away from the terrorist nd his stalking and peeking in the showertime ..I sighed in relief, until I looked over and saw Sasuke and Naruto, the two love birds, they obviously weren`t the best to sit beside but anything was better then the brat.

When about halfway through class Kakashi sensei walked in saying something about the road of life. Not wanting to listen I lean back in my chair looking at the ceiling to see a. SPIDER FUCKING EIGHT LEGGED SPIDER STARING AT ME IT WAS EVEN HAIRY. know what I didÉ screamed. I screamed bloody blue murder "FUCK OH MY GOD HELP HELP SAVE ME A SPIDER SPIDER SPPPPPPIIIIIDDDDDEEERR" When all of a sudden it dropped right on to my unsuspecting beautiful face screaming even more when I got slapped. SLAPPED IN THE FACE. there was now smushed spider all over my face. IT WAS ON MY FACE IT WAS STILL ON MY FACE. I pannicked so muched I started to yell something sounding like " SSSSSPOSOPWEPWIE" What I meant to say was help me i`m scared to death of spiders phobias are the worst.

I looked at the person beside me by the window who had slapped me, It happened to be Deidara, He looked at me like he was going to burst out laughing..I glared at him obviously embarrased at screaming like a little girl over a tiny spider, "You look so stupid, you still have the spider squashed all over your face.." He burst out laughing, I smacked him as hard as I could only to get a questioning look coming from all my classmates, I blushed an even deeper red "I`m sorry everyone, I just have a phobia of those things.." then I left to go wash off that damned spider..DISGUSTING.

As I was washing it off in the sink when I heard someone enter the bathroom, I looked over to see who it was, my damp crimson hair flinging water at the person only to see the blonde hair and blue eyes, he grabbed some paper towl and wet it, since I obviously needed help washing it off not wanting to touch it..

He started wiping it off the silence was nice, but it felt awkward to have another guy washing my face..I whispered "Thank-you" once he was done, I could feel my face going crimson like my hair..but worse..he chuckled and left for his class before he left he looked as if he wanted to rip off my clothes and rape me..

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><p><strong>Sorry it's short Forever And Always Insane had to go home so we had to cut this story short but trust me more chapters to come, but please do enjoy.<strong>

**Dont forget to review.**


	2. Panties, Tutu's and Wizards

**Okay well me and Leven decided we we're gunna make it a crackalicous fic with some serious naru sasu love (Leven's idea). Notice how hes thinking about Deidara(alotmorethenthenextname) and Tobi Lollipop he/she.**

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><p>Chapter two:<p>

Panties Tutus and Wizards

Sasori P.O.V.

After that HORRIBLE inncedent nothing happened at school. All I knew was I was going shopping with Hidan and Pein. 'Fun' I thought to myself, kowing that I would get dragged into a girly store of even worse meet up with Deidara and lolipop man. Walking to my appartment I met up with Hidan.

"Hey man, stil coming with me and Pein?" The openly gay Hidan said

"Of course, Wouldn't want to miss out on that panty sniffing fun." I said in a sarcastic tone. Hidan looked a little offended.

"Uhmm Sasori? Why would we sniff _PANTIES?_ Wht about a speedo or something else?" Hidan said cheering right back up.

"I'm good I will not do that Hidan, that's gross" Planting a frown on my face.

He shruged "More for me"

Just then we got to my appartment. "Hey can I pick out your outfit today?"Hidan begged with puppy dog eyes.

"Hidan, that is a horrible idea. How about you can pick something out and I'll say yes or no. I will not wear something obnoxiously gay _out_." I was kind of scared what would be in front of my eyes when he came out. Happily he bounded into the bedroom.

"Ohhh I forgot to tell you Pein is on the way" Hidan yelled going through my clothes and having fun.

Suddenly the door opened. "HEY Guys! Are we ready to party and shop til we drop?" Pein screeched into my ear.

"No Pein Sasori has NO clothes to wear" Hidan yelled from the bedroom.

"Bull shit" Pein screeched back and rushed into the roon to help Hidan.

Ten minutes later they came out with; black skinnys, red convers, a black shirt with the sleeves striped black and red. I sighed. It could be wourse. MUCH WORSE. I put it on and we left for the mall.

**At The Mall**

Pein pulled up at the mall in his hot pink barbie type car. I was embarrased to be seen stepping out of that thing, but atleast it was much better to have strangers which I'd probably never meet seeing me then Tobi or Deidara.

I quickly got my man-purse which I was forced to bring by none other then Hidan. I was blushing as I hung it on my shoulder. I was starting to feel more and more like a tranny...Hidan hooked his arm with mine and started skipping towards the mall entrance.

Pein soon after hooked onto my other arm skipping as well.. "Were off to see the Wizard, the wonderful Wizard of Oz.." Hidan and Pein sang in harmony, I wanted to kill myself or rather kill them. Before I knew it Sasuke, Naruto and Orochimaru were hung onto us aswell. Orochimaru's tongue was flapping in the wind sexily as we skipped along causing people to stare in horror at the pale man.

I finally managed to break free before we actually ENTERED the mall. That was a far too long walk, I ran towards the mall trying to lose them, only to bump into somehting hard no not sticky hard. I looked up, up! UP! To see Deidara, hugging him I screeched in his ear "THANK-YOU!" Tears starting flowing from my eyes, while a sunset and waves crashed before us. "Sasori!" he stated "Deidara!"

"Sasori"

"Deidara"

"Sasori!"

"Deidara!"

"Sasor-i-i-i-i!"

Deidar-a-a-a-a-a-a!"

We did it for another ten minutes when the fagg tags got to us, "Good-bye, loves!" Pein and Hidan sang out to the three musketeers. I came into realization that Deidara's hand was on my head, perhaps his mouth's on his hands were making a bald spot..

"DEIDARA! GET YOUR MOTHER FUCKING HAND OFF ME COCK SUCKING CUNT FUCKING HAND OFF ME!" I screeched..not noticing what I was saying, before I knew it Deidara was screeching about something pulling me along with him into a store.

"What the fuck?" I said as I looked in the mirror to see a Hidan and Pein in matching TUTUS holding one up for me and Deidara. Deidara grabbed my arm and pulled me into one of the change rooms(**JULIA SAYS EWW, THE SAME ONE? NARUSASULOVE: YUP JULIA: EWW.)** holding out a tutu, I noticed there was only one. ONE.

"No way in hell am I wearing a fucking tutu at the same time as you.." I yelled loud enough for Hidan and Pein to hear..I heard them groaning outside which sounded kind of wrong..like sex noises. Deidara shruged and put it on. He looked cute like it was made for him the way it complimented his muscles or made his eyes stand out. **(NaruSasuLove; he has muscles? Julia; Yepp I guess.)** After about two minutes I noticed I WAS CHECKING HIM OUT I blushed and turned away.

"You know your cute when you blush. yeah" Deidara said

"Ughh what ever" I grunted and left.

After the guys checked out their Tutus, we left. Going into the food court we saw Dosu trying and failing to hit on Gaara (Of the funk). After failing Dosu tried to grope Gaara and explained how he though the was gay. Gaara's only reaction was slapping kin in the ass and Jack sparrow running screaming how much he love VAGINA.

After eating we went home surprisingly I had some fun. But I can't sleep even though it's like 10:00 it took them hours to eat and pick out clothes ect.

Half asleep I got the menatl image of Orochimaru. I didn't sleep that night.

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><p><strong>Narusasulove; I can't wait for the lemon, I'm making that part for sure!C:..I gots some ideas! c; anyways thanks for reading mine and Julia's fan fiction, Julia; I'm helping with the lemon too:c,<strong>

**AAHH OH WELL.**

**REVIEW, PLEASE IT MAKES US HAPPY AND WANT TO ACTUALLY WRITE,**

**(^: :^) PEIN APPROVES OF THE GAY-NESS.**


	3. Cow Tales

**Heyy we're back! we feel happy two in one weekend! Well since levens in a chair munching on a cow tail (which looks really gross) I will have to tell you there is a minor change with a certin charcter... SAKURA! We decided she is a tree with legs! A really ugly looking tree like the weaping willow from harry potter! Leven since your almost done I want you to do the disclaimer and make it creative**

**Leven; Disclaimer-We DO NOT OWN Naruto, HAHA HAAAAHAAAAA GO SUCK ON SASORI'S COW TALE BISH! **

**Julia; not what I expected but good enough ON WITH THE STORY!**

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><p><strong>Chapter Three;<strong>

_Cow Tales_

I got about ten minutes of sleep last night. Getting dressed I saw the one ad only. Orochimaru staring at me through the window watching me get dressed. In a speedo. and hooker boots. I stared terrified if I moved he would pounce at me and rape me.

Next thing I knew Orochmaru was getting kicked in the head and his face was getting stomped on. I quickly pulled on some pants and a plain white t-shirt. I moved closer to the window so that I could see who was beating the shit out of the weird snake pedophile.

It was Deidara. When he was done I invited him inside. Once he got in he went through MY cubboards to find something to eat. He came back with a bun with nuttella on it.

"Dude that looks like shit on a bun" I said to him as I eyed the bun which was now touching his bottom lip. He shrugged and kept eating it. Just then we saw Sakura with ter treeliness.

Suddenly she looked at us and screeched" I'm cooler than you because I get a welfare check each month!"

"Ya cause that's cool" Sasuke said and jumped into my window followed by Naruto and Itachi.

"THERE'S A THING CALLED A DOOR! USE IT ONCE IN A WHILE!" I screamed at them and looked at Sakura who apperantly tried to come in the window too and was stuck."AND YOU" I screeched at Sakura while pointing "WHO SAID YOU COULD COME IN? GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY HOUSE YOUR SQUISHING OROCHIMARU"

"I thought he left already but looks like he wanted more torture so he got a whore to sit on him." Deidara said with a very smexy then Hidan pulled up in his welfare van.

"GET IN MOTHER FUCKERS!" We all looked at him. Itachi kicked sakura in her ugly trunk. Leaving her there to roll around and not be able to get up.

"Hidannnn can you change the song. PLEASE?" Naruto whined

"FINE YOU LITTLE COCK SUCKER!" He screamed and changed the song to family reunion by blink 182 at that moment EVERYONE STARTED SINGING.

"shit piss fuck cunt cock sucker mother fucker tits fart turd and twat

shit piss fuck cunt cock sucker mother fucker tits fart turd and twat

shit piss fuck cunt cock sucker mother fucker tits fart turd and twat

shit piss fuck cunt cock sucker mother fucker tits fart turd and twat"

Then everyone stoped to hear Itachi sing alone "I fucked your mom"

After that it was Sasukes turn "I want to suck my dad...and my momma too"

I let out a small giggle at Sasuke words. Just then we pulled up at school. We sat on the grass outside homeroom waiting for the bell to go. The conversation was about flying dogs.

"If dogs could fly mine would kill everyone that walked by" Pein said as he sat down.

I just stared up at the sky eating my cow tale, I had many more in my bag because I enjoyed them, they were caramel with white cream inside. Just then I droped it in my lap. My life flashed past me when someone grabbed my arms and Deidara poistioned the cow tale so it looked like my dick and started sucking on it our group and everyone got a good laugh out of this there was friggen people TAPING ME!

I broke my arms free so I could grab my cow tale and EAT IT!D: Its my cow tale.. NOT HIS. I slapped a orange masked lollipop and poked his eye with a dirty chopstick(I had no idea where I got it) he screamed as loud as he could holding the eye hole..I grabbed my cow tale and ran around as Deidara tried getting it back, I kept screaming "NO! MINE!" at him.. Suddenly the bell rang.

In Kakashi's class we all sat together (Me, Deidara, Sasuke and Naruto). Taking that chance Sasuke was having a little 'heart to heart with Naruto'. Finally Deidara and I heard Sasuke confesing his love and Naruto returning it. It ended up with them making out.

Just after they finished their 'buisness' Kakashi sensei walked in.

"What's your excuse today? un." Deidar burst out.

"I was stuck in a bowl of water! AND I FORGOT MY NINJA WATER WINGS" Was his reply "Oh and we may have one less student today " he went on "Sakura Haruno. Apperantly she was kicked in the trunk and she wasn't able to get up" He went on how with her fatness no one could lift her"

The class bursted out in cheers and laughs. I got so bored I took out my phone and texted Itachi. 'Itachi

Itachi

Itachi

Itachi

Itachi

Itachi

Itachi

Itachi' All in differant messages

' Nii-san

niisan

niisan

WEasel

wEaSeL'

HIS REPLY WAS 'WHAT FUCK I'M IN CLASS'

'Hi' was all I wanted to say

that was all that happened in class next class was gym with Gai Sensei.

**IN GYM **

"With the power of youth you will run 500 laps around the track and do 100 push ups each lap!"

Groans and grunts could be heard. 'Here we go' I thought .

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><p><strong>AN Leven; Hey thank-you for like reading, I know it's a weird story but were weird people especially Julia _ **

**Julia; YES I AM **

**Leven; Ahah..Now my nicknames Lee? Ehh...**

**Julia; YES LEE CAUSE EVERYTIME YOU TYPE YOUR NAME YOU PUT TWO E'S**

**R&R WE'LL LOVE YOU FOREVER! **


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